ILSA : But what about us?
RICK : We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we'd lost it, until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
ILSA : And I said I would never leave you.
RICK : And you never will.
Losing people is tough... be it friends, lovers, partners... It can be tragic, dramatic, sometimes very factual - but it never leaves you untouched.
The scene above is of the dramatic kind; two people in love but forced to make a choice because of things "bigger than them", in this case a world war and the future of the resistance movement.
Sometimes we find these things or reasons to end a relationship "for the better" but it often feels like "giving up" to me.
Since moving to Casablanca I became even more aware of what I call the need for living my life "here and now". Probably has to do with age (47 soon) and past experiences where I was waiting for the right moment and never got to it in the end.
I've become very sensitive to wasting time in certain situations. Not the practical waste of time - I do take up the local culture when permitted ;-) - but the fundamental waste of time; the time we take to express feelings & emotions; the real stuff that matters.
That's a big step for me - most of my close friends will tell you that they really don't know the emotional part of me. Some of them might even tell you that on that level I am a "cold son of a b***". Then again, I am hard on the outside and soft on the inside like my favourite snack.
I recently learned that having feelings for someone can be very scary for the other person even if there is a common ground and understanding. And then comes the moment of moving on.
The questions then are how to move on and when we grief, who are we grieving for ? For ourselves (poor me), for the other person, or for the loss of what we had in common or for what could have been ?
As always, time will tell.
But going back to the safe haven of waiting for the right moment or buying time is not an option. In between there is "giving things time"; that could be one step to take and slowly move on.
And maybe one day we'll meet again on the bright side of the moon...